Year of The Dragon
Hello everyone!
And a happy year of the dragon!
Technically it was yesterday, but more on that later in this post.
For the year of the dragon I was invited to a group show hosted at Modern Eden Gallery, which is currently on show until March 7th, you can check out details and other artworks on the gallery’s webpage.
My sculpture has sold already (thank you so much to whoever got it!) which is only more reason to check out the show if you can.
You can see more pictures of this sculpture on its dedicated spot in my portfolio.
Shadow (Dragon)
I titled the sculpture “shadow” as I sculpted a dragonfly who has a dragon as a shadow.
I worked on a book for this one, that can be showcased lying flat or hung on the wall.
The dragon itself is European style, because I’m a European and that’s what came to my mind first. In Europe, dragons have bat wings, a scaled body and the head of a dog. Quite different from the dragons of China, and Asia to an extent. Those have snake bodies and the head of a lion. No Wings.
I also turned the wings into semi-lichen, as the dragon is a mere shadow form its own legend.
The color scheme is a dark blue violet with a lot of sparkle. I discovered the joy of “pearl” paints recently and might have gone a little overboard. I also added golden accents, because it seemed fitting for the majesty of dragons.
Since dragons don’t exist, I went for a dragonfly.
I actually learned a lot about the differences between dragonflies and damselflies as well. In French, both are commonly called “libellules”, so I didn’t realise until I started to look up pictures for reference.
Dragonflies are bulkier in build and their wings are spread out, while damselflies rest with their wings joined behind their back. That’s the easiest quick way to tell them apart.
I actually sculpted three dragonflies back in December, mostly because I had to make a mould for the wings and it felt like such a loss to not use it at least a few times, so you can expect two more dragonfly sculptures coming this year! I can already tell you one is going to be more rainbow-y and on a can.
Burn-out
I have failed to send out a newsletter as soon as this sculpture was done and to blog on time for it as well.
I have a good reason for that.
Last Christmas, at my mum’s place, I broke down in tears and couldn’t stop crying for a good hour. There was no rational reason for that, nothing special had happened, I just broke. It wasn’t even the first time I broke down in tears during the month of December, however it was the moment I realised I was burned out.
Since then I have been trying to be extra nice to myself (which is surprinsingly hard) and rest as much as I need.
Which means I only work on the bare minimum, which are all the sculptures for the different shows I’m attending this year, and exploring paintings. At least I found the motivation to create again!
I’m starting to feel a lot better, but I still cry sometimes out of stress or anxiety, so I know I’m still quite fragile.
Luckily I am surrounded by a lot of supportive people who understand these struggles and who keep validating my emotions. I’m so very fortunate to have such good friends in my life.
As for the why I arrived to that breaking-point: last year I worked on my coloring book and the work on it was intense. I had a few warning signs toward the end, but a deadline is a deadline so I just kept going.
During the summer, just before finishing it, I actually had four cold sores on my upper lip, which tells you a bit about the level of stress I was in.
After that I should have taken some proper rest, but I did not, because I started a local residency and was super enthusiastic about it, too much really, as I went full in.
I used to have moments of depression periodically in the past, but I figured a better work-life balance, learned to understand my brain and was doing overall good. Well… until last year. Now it’s about finding a better balance again.
Plans & Hopes
For a couple of years, I have been wanting and struggling to paint more. I have been spreading myself a little too thin over a lot of different ideas, and I have to admit that I am really scared.
I have no clue what direction is best, so I have tried a lot of different approaches and techniques and my mind keeps sending me new ideas and paths to try out.
It’s the messy part of the creative process and I know I just need to be patient and do things, but it sometimes feels like I’m just loosing myself and my time in the process.
That obviously doesn’t help me to relax, I think I’m also being too harsh with myself about the whole thing. I wish I could do things that are amazing right away, but I just need to practice more and get paintings out in the world, so I can figure out my way.
I need to learn to lower my expectations again, as I will be doing a lot of mediocre work this year, and that’s perfectly fine and part of the process. It just is scary to not know where you are going.
I am also meaning to take a bit of a break from making YouTube videos, as I don’t have the energy nor the head space for it right now, but I need to make two videos before that, one of some art supplies I got send to try out and out to explain where I’m at and why I’m going to be gone for a while.
Maybe I can muster the energy for those next week.
Ok, I think that’s all I had to share about today, let’s hope I’ll be in a better mental space next time I write here!
Wishing you all the best!